The Lonely Mermaid - March 2016

 March's calendar panel is called The Siren's Solitude. I very nearly titled it The Lonely Mermaid,  which is what she truly is; but, for whatever young girls (who adore mermaids) see this image, I wanted to make her alone-ness seem more of her own choosing. I don't actually know how mermaids feel about it.

What I do know is that few archetypes have cast a more enduring spell on our imagination than the Mermaid. She appears in countless cultural expressions, in all forms of media, and there is something about her that enchants us. So why ARE mermaids lonely?

Many know her as La Sirena, a character in the Lotteria cards (1). A Mexican game similar to Bingo, its 54 images rival the Tarot deck in their articulation of the human condition.

  

Her contemplation of a seashell is a recurring motif, as in the image that anchors the March panel. None of my internet searches have turned up the creator of this exquisite sculpture.(2)

Haitian Prayer Flag

The siren is also a favorite on Haitian prayer flags, where, adorned in sequins, she is frequently pictured blowing a trumpet of some kind.
Is this perhaps a further extension of the seashell? Conch shells are blown like trumpets in many cultures, from the Himalayas to the Yucatan.

vintage tattoo,
Barcelona

Mermaids were probably the original 'pin-up' girl for sailors - and are still providing a good living for tattoo artists everywhere. 

    

Tattoo from Illustrated Ink on Etsy 

The popular use of the term Siren to describe these images is a bit of a misnomer. But the shell 'trumpet' may be a subtle reference to the older, more threatening version of the mermaid: the true Sirens of Greek myth.

They are not half-fish, but half-bird, and they cause shipwrecks, delivering sailors to a watery grave through the seduction of their music - played on drums, lyres, and some sort of woodwind - sometimes resembling flutes, other times looking more like trumpets.  

Siren with a tambourine

Their very name has become synonymous with the wail that heralds alarm - a train, an ambulance, a tornado siren. Sirens mean danger.

Ulysses was lucky enough to be warned ahead of time by the indisputable Circe (an herbalist so skilled that she could transform her enemies into animals). He had his men fill their ears with wax and strap him to the mast, so that he could not be tempted by the irresistible enchantment of the Sirens.

Ulysses and the Sirens, John William Waterhouse, 1891 

Hercules and the Sirens, giovanino.deviantart.com

   Hercules had a similar problem   while sailing with the Argonauts, 

but fortunately the poet Orpheus was on board to 'drown out' the music of the Sirens with his own. 

Mermaids seem relatively harmless compared to Sirens. They are easier to 'cutie-fy' (per Disney, for example, or in this seemingly harmless songstress).

Candy Meyer, fineartsamerica.com

She is playing a guitar because there are no lyres in Mexico, ha ha.

Consider one of the world's most iconic mermaids, epitomizing the spirit of loneliness as she sits looking out on Copenhagen's harbor.

Her creator, the sculptor Edvard Eriksen, donated her to the city, after the 1909 performance there of a ballet based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson. 

In the story, she is a tragic representation of unrequited love:

Having fallen in love with a Prince who lives on land, she bargains with a witch to replace her tail with a pair of legs. In exchange for these legs, which feel to her like walking on swords, she gives her tongue - a very high price to pay. To pursue this love, she has chosen to live in constant pain, and has forsaken her own self-expression, as she is now mute.  Despite these sacrifices, she never marries the prince. 

One can't help sympathizing with her, but the story divulges to us a truth: any relationship that requires that you deny your self-expression, dramatically disguise yourself, or give up the means by which you propel yourself through life (that strong and beautiful tail might represent your skills, talents, or personal supports, such as friends and family) will have disastrous consequences. It will ultimately result in disappointment, abandonment, or worse, because when we alter ourselves to please another, an authentic relationship isn't possible.

Vintage tile from Iran

It's not for nothing that, in many images of mermaids, they are holding mirrors and combs. As humans, we have a genuine need for beauty. But we may be easily seduced by flattery, and men seem particularly vulnerable to this. The mermaid archetype serves the vanity of a man by showing him only a favorable reflection of himself --  she caters to how he wants to be seen, rather than revealing to him her own unique identity.

Mermaid combing her hair

John William Waterhouse

With such a flaw in the foundation, inevitably the center will not hold. To disguise oneself so dramatically for the sake of a relationship is an act of desperation, a silent declaration of one's own emptiness.

This amazing batik is the work of  Janet Searfoss, http://www.janetsearfossbatiks.com/

Indeed, the mermaid archetype is a cash cow, monetized by the constant call for women to hone their seductive skills. New techniques blare from the covers of magazines targeting women in places where they're most likely to be found, like the supermarket check-out counter. Sales of cosmetics in the USA are estimated, for 2016, to be over $62 BILLION; and in the UK, cosmetic surgery has become 'normalized' due to "increased availability, a rise in disposable income and social pressure." (3)  Women will spend hours primping for that chance to pimp the man, especially if he's a 'good catch' -- a term that originates with fishing!

Why do men fall for this? Maybe because the mermaid archetype presents itself as a non-identity that never challenges him. A woman without a tongue doesn't talk back, she only holds up a mirror. A woman can't run away on sharp sword-legs - she has given up her autonomy. She's highly controllable.

But there is an unseen danger for men in this kind of woman. She will cling to him, smother him with jealousy based in her dependence on him, and, as in the movie Fatal Attraction, pull him underwater into the dark drama of her own emotional instability. (4)

And mermaids seem to generate quite some resentment, perhaps towards the ability of women to deceive and seduce. The Little Mermaid of Denmark has been defaced and vandalized numerous times, so much so that in 2007 it was decided to move her further out into the harbor, where she'll be less accessible.(5)  Maybe they should consider installing a Siren. At least then, an alarm would go off.

But men are capable of similar deception, reflecting back to a woman only what she wants to hear. His inner feminine may seduce you, if his mother was a 'mermaid'.
It's all done with mirrors.

Gustav Wertheim, The Kiss of the Siren, 1882

image by Laurie Silva,
on fineartamerica.com

The unfortunate desire of men, for control over women by any means necessary, has been ubiquitous in recent centuries. It tempts them to embrace a mermaid -- or, to create one. I find myself reminded of the now abolished practice of foot-binding - the breaking of the bones in women's feet, so that the foot fits into a shoe smaller than any glass slipper. 

The inability to walk unaided characterized upper-class women in Japan and China, leaving these women literally hobbled, crippled, and stranded. Such disfigurations (the footprint was to expected to imitate a lotus flower) were a sign of status -- for the man. For the women, being wealthy was a life walking on sharp swords. Their feet resemble a mermaid's fin, something not human. It was this culturally imposed loss of autonomy, to which they were required to acquiesce, that inspired the June calendar panel - which we will come to soon enough, dear reader.

The opposite of the mermaid is a woman who is honest about who she is. At the core of that apple is integrity, and the courage, dignity, and response-ability inherent in self-sovereignty. She will tell you the truth whether you want it or not; maybe gently, maybe not. Hopefully you will not be transformed into an animal (that part's up to you). 

And, if that isn't what you're up for, you can always Go Fish.
But be careful what you wish for - you're liable to get caught yourself. 

As women, our own soul purpose has to be the defining compass of our lives, and should never be 'thrown over' - as in overboard, another sea-faring term - for the sake of a relationship. The challenge is to find a partner who does not subvert or interfere with our purpose, but enhances it, in pursuit of their own.

Then, mermaids will be only a decorative element hanging from the prow of a boat, and can be both nautical and nice.

Keep calm and sail the high seas ~
Ms. Kiva's Mom

Notes
1.) Lotteria was brought to Mexico in the late 1700's from Italy, where it originated in the 15th century.
2) I was disappointed to never be able to find any attribution to its creator, online If anyone has the information, I thank you in advance for informing me.
3) http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jun/28/cosmetic-surgery-normal-acceptable-face-womanhood
4) Walter Copland Perry observed: "Their song, though irresistibly sweet, was no less sad than sweet, and lapped both body and soul in a fatal lethargy, the forerunner of death and corruption."[11]
5) Notes on the Little Mermaid of Denmark
Wikipedia reports that this statue has been damaged and defaced many times since the mid-1950s for various reasons, but has each time been restored. In 2007, Copenhagen officials announced that the statue may be moved further out in the harbour, as to avoid further vandalism and to prevent tourists from climbing onto it.
❀ 24 April 1964 – the statue's head was sawn off and stolen by politically oriented artists of the Situationist movement, amongst them Jørgen Nash. The head was never recovered and a new head was produced and placed on the statue.
❀ 22 July 1984 – her right arm was sawn off. The arm was returned two days later by two young vandals.
❀ 1990 – another attempt was made to cut her head off, which resulted in an 18 cm deep cut in the neck.
❀ 6 January 1998 – she was decapitated again, the culprits were never found, but the head was returned anonymously to a nearby TV station, and on 4 February the head was back on.
❀ Red paint has been thrown on her several times, including one episode in 1961 where her hair was painted red and a bra was painted on her.
❀ 11 September 2003 – the statue was blasted off its rock, possibly with dynamite.
❀ In 2004, it was draped in a Burqa as a statement against Turkey joining the European Union.
❀ March 8, 2006 – a dildo was attached to the statue's hand, green paint was dumped over it, and the words March 8 were written on it. It is suspected that this vandalism has something to do with International Women's Day (which is on March 8).
❀ March 3, 2007 – the statue was again covered with pink paint.
❀ May 2007 – the statue was covered with paint by vandals.
❀ May 20, 2007 – it was found draped in a Muslim dress and head scarf.